I said from the start I was going to be honest and write about our struggles with Cancer. We have good days and we have bad days. The love I have for my wife is unconditional.
My wife is a true champion. She has no idea how much of an inspiration she is to me and I hope to all of you as well. I can see that my words are no comfort to her, but I refuse to give up. We are now down to the last 2 chemo treatments. The closer we get to the last day of chemo on May 19th the harder things get.
My wife is so done with all the chemo in her system at this point. I see the frustration in her eyes and I can’t do anything about it. Her mind is playing games with her making her think that she will never be as good as she was before. I keep telling her that she will be better and stronger.
We are now ten steps ahead of the game. When we first started, we were told that my wife had 4 months to maybe 2 years to live. We are now on the 6th month and she is getting better and stronger every day. Yes, the recovery from the surgery and all the chemo in her system is going slow but like I always say perfection takes it’s time. For the time being she is also cancer free.
I understand that at times she gets frustrated. I see her get mad at the world for the simplest things. I know that her body is changing and again with all the chemo in her body things are not the way she would want them to be. I do not know what to do at times. I get lost in her frustrations. I get scared to say things for I don’t want her to get upset. At times, I ask her to speak to me and tell me what I have done wrong and I get no reply. I know I am not the smartest cookie in the jar and I do a lot of dumb things but I can’t read her mind. I am not perfect and I wish I could do more for my wife.
I will put up with any barrier that stands in our way. I am here for her. I, in no way could ever really feel what she feels as I am not the one going through this. I wish I could take away all her pain and frustration. I want to see her smile and laugh. The closer we get to the end of her chemo treatment the harder things get.